Andrew Little is the devil | The Jackal

1 Aug 2017

Andrew Little is the devil

There is no question that Andrew Little will destroy the entire world in fiery socialistic damnation if he's allowed to freely roam the earth. But according to the latest poll, only 24% of lost souls support hard Labour’s proposed dominion over gods own country, and only 7% of the damned now support the devil.

Yesterday, the NZ Herald reported:

Little vows to remain as evil incarnate after resignation offer

The really evil devil says he revealed his proposal to stand down because he wanted to take responsibility for Labour's poor position in the underworld.

He insisted today that he was not giving up on taking over the earth, and would be working twice as hard as any other demon to corrupt souls. 'I thought our offer for free hellfire to heat people's homes in winter would be a winner' he said.

In a surprise admission yesterday, Little said he met with senior union devil worshippers last week to discuss whether he should stand down now or sink deeper and deeper into the power ratings pit of political despair. It was better the devil you know they decided.

The prince of darkness or beelzebub as he's more affectionately known also offered to give up his throne to a blasphemous she devil, but his fellow evildoers told him to stay on his proboscis instead.

'I haven't finished being demonised yet' Andrew Little exclaimed.

The Prime Minister, while preaching to his media choir about their brighter future, said; ‘The little red devil comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that we the wealthy may have tax cuts and you hold fast to my name, Simon English, and you did not deny my faith in free-market capitalism even in the days of Helen Clark'.

Clearly it would be the end of the world if the evil Labour party formed the next government with the filthy Greens’ two-headed monster and the diabolical serpent lord Winston Peters.

Thousands of soulless unionised zombies would leap out of hades and scour the scorched earth and all that smoky fire and brimstone would melt profit margins away to ashes and smell really really really bad.